Friday Nov 16, 2012

So it has been sometime since I have wrote a blog. My apologies for the delay, I hope this will catch everyone up on situations and of course, the cat at the end.

The past month or two have been up and down, over and over. My mother has been in and out of the hospital, my longtime girlfriend, who I lived with and own furniture and animals with, have split, my step-fathers father has passed, and I am trying to get my sister in a situation to be able to pass her senior year in high school. On top of the family issues, my job is going south fairly quickly with a new company that has bought it and I couldn't care less about it. And then, what should be most important, in a sense, school. I am a bit behind, this is the first semester that I have done that.

I am not looking for hand outs, not would I accept them, but a shoulder to lean on at this point is crucial. My friends have stepped in and helped more than I could ask for.

I used to draw, or write, or design, as a way to get aggression and sorrow out. Now I have been drinking, not to the extent of where it messes with my job or school, but alcohol has been the answer. To clarify, I have a two drink limit when I go out somewhere. I always drive myself because of this as well. I do not like being drunk, nor do I get drunk, but I do drink.

My mother used to drink... A lot. My 18th birthday, I took care of her. Graduation night, I took care of her. Yet I do not blame her or hold her to that. She was a single mother who raised two children from paycheck to paycheck. She did right by us and always had. Now we still look after her, just under different circumstances. The nervous system in her feet are now raw, as well as her liver not looking so good. She went to the hospital with enough time that everything can be fixed with time and medication to where she can get back to where she needs to be. The path will be long, and we will be beside her through it all.

My girlfriend left to go to Paul Mitchell in Orlando florida 8 months ago. She will be back in two weeks, but at this point every insecurity either one of us has had, was split open and drove us apart. She is no longer the same person, nor I. As I am typing this, she is texting me about how it's bullshit that I am pulling this so close to her coming home. Yet she is the one that formally ended our relationship. So in this case, the one I would love to talk to about her, is her. So I have been avoiding her, which is difficult as I live with her brother. This is just petty drama, but still weighs on me.

My sister, because of my mother, hasn't been doing so hot in school. She needs to get on the ball. She is 18 without a job, car, or permit/license. I understand that it is not her fault, but when I was 16, I was working 30 hours a week and paid for my first car. Motivation to leave the nest was my biggest fire. I want the best for her and wish she could see how big the world is, Asheville is the biggest city she has seen, New York would blow her mind and hopefully motivate her to leave this small rural city.

Im just rambling at this point, so if I think of anything else, I will add it later. But for now, here is a cat!