November 29, 2012

Since this is the second to last blog post due for class, I would like to get a bit philosophical about a few things.

First of, for those who still read this blog in class, you are most likely under the age of 20 and still young, naive, and full of hopes and dreams. Never let that feeling die.

I am not much older, at 24, and have already seen so much pass me by. I graduated high school, went to Western Carolina, which was picked out on my own as a bit of a last minute resort, mostly because everyone kept saying that I needed to go to college. I went, did poorly, and decided that school wasn't right for me. Turns out that waiting tables is much worse than reading some books and taking tests. I moved to Florida with some friends for a year and promptly moved back to go to school. Florida was my time to myself to reflect on what I wanted, cut ties, be fully independent, and get a taste of the real world. I came back and got a job at the Grove Park Inn thinking I was hot shit and school would eventually come if needed.

I dabbled in and out of school to see what I would like and found out that graphic design was pretty cool, I had always drawn things since I was small, but this puts a new tool in my hand to make beautiful art.

Plus it makes other things, such as sharpies
and highlighters look like child's play

There was one night in particular that I remember more than any at work. A table of 4 came in, 2 older couples, and had ordered food. Our kitchen was not the most prompt, or efficient (yes, one of the restaurants at the great gpi, one would be surprised if they knew more). I had placed the order, as I have many many times before, and one of the gentlemen's plates came out wrong, I do not recall if it was a steak prepared wrong, or wrong sides, but that is besides the point. The gentlemen was livid. He told me later, as he was paying his bill, that he did not want to, but is still going to leave a tip and that "you can do better."

I knew that it was not directed at me, and nothing that guests say ever offend me, its something about the clientele of grove park that gives people a sense of entitlement and can talk down to people. You can typically spot these people out rather quickly. I am the calm cool center of the universe whenever someone yells/talks down/ridicules me. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I never crack. But for some reason this comment stuck with me.

I digested it, let it settle, and still could not get it out of my mind. 

"You can do better."

This random stranger, who I could not point out to you today if I had to, had more effect on me with four words than most people do after whole conversations.

A week or so passed with these five syllables playing over and over in my head.

I took it as, "I can do better at life." at that point I decided to pull myself together, do everything better. After work one night I went home and spent hours online looking at classes and researching what I would be getting myself into. And even today, in all aspects of life, I tell myself the same words that this random had told me.

Something inside of me changed and always pushed for more, better, never accepting anything as the best, because even if I were the best at something, I can do better.

So I will say that life is an adventure. Do better than you did yesterday until you are the one that is the best and continue to raise the bar. Settling is for the weak and mentally poor. If you are not on an adventure, then destroy anything that is in your way and live your adventure.

Do right to those who help you, and do right to those who dont, eventually they will understand and envy you.

I will end this with a few tips to hopefully help you in the long run.

You do not want to end up paying $600+ in rent money that you will never get back. It is wasted money. Buy a house, but in order to do so, get a high paying job. Get a high paying job, but in order to do so, graduate from college. Graduate from college, but in order to do that, you must do your homework and dedicate yourself to what you want, and what makes you happy.

If there is no happiness that comes from what you are doing, either directly, or indirectly, then stop doing it.

Do not buy materialistic things, invest in memories.

Find your happiness, find your bubble, your happy place, use this as your resting time, then be restless at all other times. Nobody became wealthy by waiting. Fulfill your dreams, set your hopes high with expectations, that way if you make it halfway there, you will still have made it, and still trying to better yourself. 

Friday Nov 16, 2012

So it has been sometime since I have wrote a blog. My apologies for the delay, I hope this will catch everyone up on situations and of course, the cat at the end.

The past month or two have been up and down, over and over. My mother has been in and out of the hospital, my longtime girlfriend, who I lived with and own furniture and animals with, have split, my step-fathers father has passed, and I am trying to get my sister in a situation to be able to pass her senior year in high school. On top of the family issues, my job is going south fairly quickly with a new company that has bought it and I couldn't care less about it. And then, what should be most important, in a sense, school. I am a bit behind, this is the first semester that I have done that.

I am not looking for hand outs, not would I accept them, but a shoulder to lean on at this point is crucial. My friends have stepped in and helped more than I could ask for.

I used to draw, or write, or design, as a way to get aggression and sorrow out. Now I have been drinking, not to the extent of where it messes with my job or school, but alcohol has been the answer. To clarify, I have a two drink limit when I go out somewhere. I always drive myself because of this as well. I do not like being drunk, nor do I get drunk, but I do drink.

My mother used to drink... A lot. My 18th birthday, I took care of her. Graduation night, I took care of her. Yet I do not blame her or hold her to that. She was a single mother who raised two children from paycheck to paycheck. She did right by us and always had. Now we still look after her, just under different circumstances. The nervous system in her feet are now raw, as well as her liver not looking so good. She went to the hospital with enough time that everything can be fixed with time and medication to where she can get back to where she needs to be. The path will be long, and we will be beside her through it all.

My girlfriend left to go to Paul Mitchell in Orlando florida 8 months ago. She will be back in two weeks, but at this point every insecurity either one of us has had, was split open and drove us apart. She is no longer the same person, nor I. As I am typing this, she is texting me about how it's bullshit that I am pulling this so close to her coming home. Yet she is the one that formally ended our relationship. So in this case, the one I would love to talk to about her, is her. So I have been avoiding her, which is difficult as I live with her brother. This is just petty drama, but still weighs on me.

My sister, because of my mother, hasn't been doing so hot in school. She needs to get on the ball. She is 18 without a job, car, or permit/license. I understand that it is not her fault, but when I was 16, I was working 30 hours a week and paid for my first car. Motivation to leave the nest was my biggest fire. I want the best for her and wish she could see how big the world is, Asheville is the biggest city she has seen, New York would blow her mind and hopefully motivate her to leave this small rural city.

Im just rambling at this point, so if I think of anything else, I will add it later. But for now, here is a cat!

Analyzing "What Sacagawea Means To Me"

This was a good article that I related to on a cultural level. Sacagawea has been revered as a hero. She has statues, sculptures, memorials, a river, and even the Sacagawea Center in Idaho. Most Native-Americans do not celebrate Columbus Day, this is like celebrating Valentine's day because of the Massacre in 1929.

Sacagawea, to some, was a sell out and helped to doom the Native Americans. But without her, we would not have the amazing country we live in. So how does one decipher how they feel about the genocide of their ancestors? But for me personally, my ancestors are the ones who helped in the process. I am the offspring between both parties.

Sherman Alexie's article deciphering this is one that cause unease and questions. He speaks to everyone involved with America